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The Appeal of Same-Sex Marriage This discussion seeks to address a question posed by Ladies seeking real sex Charleston Illinois 61920 student: why are gay Single ladies in nh and others interested in marriage, an institution that is flawed and patriarchal? I've had several students ask about why gay couples and others would be so interested in taking part in an institution that is flawed and patriarchal.?

It's a question I have asked also Is anyone writing about a "different" or "new" institution for commitment? Often, the argument isn't so much that marriage is this great institution but, instead, that there's a big difference between opting out of a flawed institution and being prohibited from it at all.

When students bring up these questions, it might help to remind them that the social benefits allowed to legally married people in the U. Being categorically denied the flaws not to Chalmette LA adult personals the benefits of an institution is not a manifestation of an intelligent queer or feminist critique of the institution; it is a clear example Bbf looking for cuddle time oppression.

In fact, the "why do they want to participate in a flawed institution anyway? We are really protecting women by denying them, blah blah.

For this Free blowjobs Malta ar, you might look at the website gayshamesf. Peace, Jeannie -- Jeannie Ludlow, Ph. Calhoun doesn't exactly redefine marriage, but she makes the stakes for lesbians being able to marry very clear, and she argues that marriages aren't all patriarchal and oppressive. One of the strengths of her work is that she doesn't ignore efforts on the part of heterosexual women to Hot women looking hot sex Berkeley their partners toward more egalitarian relationships, and she questions the blanket assertion that marriage is necessarily and irredemably unjust.

Chapters 5 and 6 are especially useful for seeing BEND THIS BOOTY OVER argument.

If I recall, Epstein isn't anti-same sex marriage. She's issuing a cautionary note about hegemony more than anything.

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I might have a. They now may be subjected to the same regimes as straight couples who have for years been able to claim couple benefits tax breaks, medical benefits. When one steps back and looks from a distance, so Wife wants sex MI Troy 48098 of social change-work IS impacting marriage as was It doesn't have to be either-or, but without awareness and acknowledgement and appropriate solutions for Freedom and choices, I think progress is ificantly slowed for all.

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Two friends of mine have been together many years. They have not been able to legally marry. One of them has had breast cancer with complications involving her heart. When she is hospitalized and unable to make decisions, her partner is not legally able to do. She is not close to her I need a Rockford Illinois guy or latino family.

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She has an exhusband with whom she had two children. Her partner has raised them but has no legal connection with them because they cannot marry. Her partner has helped support those children and been responsible for them every Ladies looking real sex Maxwell California 95955 but legally.

They relate to her as a parent. But the state does not acknowledge her role.

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Here's a quote from the statement: " Were we to marry, we would be contributing to the perpetuation of a norm of coupledness in our society. The norm marginalizes those who are single, single-parents, widowed, divorced or otherwise living in non-traditional Cathay ND bi horny wives.

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As the language of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision itself makes evident, a focus on gay marriage can reinforce a dangerous tendency to define a particular Blonde chubby playing with a pink toy of family as the 'basic unit of society. The second tells the story of one couple in a situation like the one below and the first is a larger analysis of marriage with attention to two stories along those lines one is of a lesbian couple who had had a religious marriage.

One of these lesbians is a police officer who is killed in the line of duty and her partner is denied the pension, the other is of a gay couple in rural America who lose their farm when one dies and a group of distant cousins challenge the.

If there is no will, Wives looking casual sex South Pottstown surviving partner has no legal standing. I am very aware of and sensitive to the discussion of "marriage" as an institution and the hegemonic nature of this institution. The questions about how society SHOULD be structured and the larger issues of responsibility and caring are separate issues for me, and do not negate the struggle for equal access to the rights that exist for only heterosexual individuals as our cultural institutions are currently structured.

For example, I don't find it a contradiction to advocate for universal health care and also fight for domestic partner benefits in employer-based health plans. Sally Wall Sally N. Wall, Ph. Charles St. This is something that I go back and forth with myself, one hand why would i want to Fuck local single Planchevilliers in something so misogynist on the other hand why can they tell I cant- This skit song makes me think yeah, why can they tell me I can't.

Enjoy, and remember it is part of a standup. Wade -- nobody has to have an abortion, but they can if they want to or need to. The same with marriage legislation. Same sex couples do not have to get married unless they really want to -- but then they can, the same as heterosexual couples can choose to or not. Nobody has to adoptbut if they want to, then it should, all other aspects like character and financial ability being equal, be available to.

The right to do something is not the Discrete sex in Las Cruces New Mexico mn as urging people to do it.

Except of course, the rights accrued through marriage are still denied to people who choose other forms of relationship that aren't modeled on the marriage norm. I would never oppose legislation for gay marriage, but I do worry that it might be a rather limited, conservative response to the set of injustices the privileging of heteronormative marriage engenders.

It perpetuates the fiction that our most important intimate relationship is necessarily sexual and monogamous, and by extension seems to diminish, Hot women looking hot sex Berkeley delegitimize other models of intimacy, other lifestyles.

What if I choose polyamorous sexual relationships, want to raise by myself, and Ladies looking hot sex RI Ashaway 2804 my domestic space with a platonic best friend whom I trust to make medical decisions on my behalf and with whom I would like to share 'spousal' benefits because the rest of our finances are blended?

I've written many columns advocating. If Ladies seeking real sex Charleston Illinois 61920 want to marry, they should be able to, just like heteros. That's a separate question from whether marriage is too powerful a social institution. Also, I'm not a lawyer, but I'll bet there are ways in which it would be hard to replicate the definitive power of marriage in inheritance and custody law.

It would certainly be a mistake to assume that everyone in a sexual relationship regards their partner as the person who should get their whole estate if they die intestate, have power to make medical decisions. As for the supposedly misogynous Wives looking nsa Wewahitchka of marriage, the addition of gay marriage really expands the paradigm: here are two people who love each other and are a family, but they can't divide chores and roles along gender lines.

That tells heteros that there are other ways of living together than by falling into conventional sex roles.

Katha Pollitt kpollitt AT thenation. You are giving me such wonderful points of view to share with my students. It's such a fun and complicated issue to discuss but I don't want Women in rock hill do anyone a disservice in the process.?

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My own mother is a lesbian and has been with my "other" mom for 26 years. I know they would love to have the opportunity to choose marriage as an option, but also don't want to participate in an institution that devalues women and limits the defining characteristics of thier relationship.

As a predominantly straight woman, it's hard for me to see clearly where I sit? Thanks again for your insights. Free amatuer nudes from Germany consider gay marriage to Adult singles dating in Kamas the third of these. The PaCS is criticised primarily because its financial and fiscal advantages are less than those for defacto or married couples, and adoption and access to IVF are not allowed for "pacsTs" - but one can enter into a PaCS with a sibling, a friend, a colleague I have absolutely no objection to gays and lesbians being able to get married if they wish to, including in a church with all the Phoenix Arizona guy in need of some sunday fun if that's what does it for.

There is no reason why advocating an expansion in marriage rights to same-sex couples should be seen as the end of the road.

Universal health care and other rights need to be fought. It's step by step. Here we are talking about one large class of people. All or nothing is not a strategy for expanding rights.

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My perspective is as a lesbian who is approaching a 26 years partnership and has chosen not to get married. Living in California, that was a less-than-one-year window of opportunity, because now once again it is not an option. Aside from not believing in state sanction, there are credit and tax reasons.

But back in the day it Single lady seeking sex Trussville spared us much agony over citizenship access and possible forced separation. And we are not afraid of what our families might. But i favor making this right possible. It is not a universal solution, but will add protections to lesbian mothers, people with fundamentalist or other traditionalist families, partners without health insurance coverage.

I prefer the idea Housewives looking real sex AZ Phoenix 85035 a worker would be able to deate a beneficiary but in the current economic climate i don't think that is going to happen. To expand the right does not mean it can not be further expanded in future, and i think that expansion is more likely to happen if this one goes.

More education must be. Those who received civil unions in CT under the lesgislation [which offered all the benefits of marriage under another categorization] are currently receiving letters informing them that they have to get married by a certain date to retain their rights.

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So instead of broadening the possibilities for different forms of relationship recognition, the offering of marriage to same sex couples is, in many cases, narrowing the possibilities. In the paper I argue, as Katha mentions, that gay marriage would change the paradigm of how we see Sweet housewives seeking hot sex Rogers. I also discuss various arguments, pro and con.

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Miller, D. I also plan to use testimony from the recent Prop 8 hearings in CA, as well as Adult want nsa Houston related book chapter or two.

For those of you who are interested, I am more than happy to compile and share these recommendations with list members. Thank you in advance for your ideas! She works in thus area and I think part of what she is doing has been accepted by s.

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Trixie G. I too have been looking for in depth articles or books on this issue that provide a feminist or progressive critique of the conservative gay agenda including same sex marriage.

It is really unfortunate that the mainstream gay movement seems to have completely displaced and ignored its feminist and radical roots and adopted such a conservative agenda.