Avoiding Certain Venues One strategy for attempting to conceal their same-sex behavior was to avoid those venues that participants viewed as posing the greatest threat of discovery.
Indeed, many of the non-disclosing MSMW reported that they did not attend public venues because they were fearful of being observed or discovered there by female partners, friends, family members, or acquaintances. For example, when Find Hunlock creek whether he meets any of his male partners in sexual venues, a year-old straight-identified Black participant reported: No.
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Too, too risky of a, well, when you Santos granny fuck to be on the DL, as I am, going to those places, you run the risk of being seen or recognized by someone you may or not want Fuck local single Planchevilliers be seen or recognized.
If you go to a park or a bathhouse, you never know who might be going by in a vehicle and see you enter one of those places. Someone could see you going into this bar or park.
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I mean, for example for parks — what the hell are you doing entering a park at in the morning oror 1 AM? Come on. Going to a bar, if this bar is known to be Women want sex Downing gay bar, how do you explain to somebody [who] happen[s] to look out the window of the bus and see you going inside a gay bar, how do you explain that?
Although the above participant viewed discovery as possible at almost all venues, most participants viewed only certain venues as posing a ificant risk of discovery. Interviewer: Open? Although public parks were a common pick-up site among some men in our sample, Horny cougar girls to fuck in Jurien Bay considered them problematic due to the possibility of being observed.
I: Why, why is that? And it will get back to your wife; get back to your family. Finally, even the Internet, which was viewed by many Manito IL bi horney housewifes as the most private possible venue, caused concern for some participants. Specifically, some men were concerned about the possibility of leaving a trace of activity i.
For example, the same year old Black man quoted above also noted his fear of discovery if he were to use the Internet to meet male partners: No.
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I always thought of. Uh, so I never, I never you know, never, um did that, you know. For example, some who lived outside of Manhattan e. I live in the Bronx, you know.
Everything I ever did, all my dirt, whatever I did, I did in Manhattan right? I either go to my job or I go to my program or. Similarly, another participant, a year-old bisexually-identified Black man, reported that he does not use the Internet to meet male milf personals in hoopa ca for fear that his girlfriend will find. Rather, he reported that although he lives in Brooklyn he meets his male partners at the Chelsea Pier, a neighborhood sports and recreational complex in Manhattan.
When asked why, he explained: I: And why do Women looking sex Youngsville New Mexico go there?
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R: To meet men. I: Why there, as opposed to other places? R: Nobody knows me. Actually, Chelsea Pier is my favorite place to go.
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For example, a year-old bisexually-identified Black participant reported using this strategy to conceal his behavior from both his girlfriend and his family. R: Stay far away, when I do — when I do the activities. Far away. They stay in the Bronx.
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R: Yeah, minimal worries, little concerns about going in and. Preference for Meeting Male Partners on the Internet The Internet was the venue most consistently viewed by participants as allowing them to confidentially identify Horny teenage girls Plymouth arrange to meet potential male sexual partners.
The fear of Women want sex Downing in a public setting led many of the men to focus primarily or exclusively on meeting male partners through the Internet. What do you like about that? A majority of the men in the study also preferred the Internet because they viewed it as a particularly easy or convenient way to meet other men. This was important for many men who had limited time to find and meet male partners e.
Some of the non-disclosing MSMW also pointed out that the Internet was a more efficient way to meet someone than traveling to a venue and talking with several individuals in hopes that someone there might be interested in having sex with.
I: Um-hum. So you can pick out whichever—what you are looking for? R: Yeah. You can find a lot of us guys that fit more of my type on the Internet. I mean from you know uh models to just like chatting and a lot of places have temporary chats where you just log in Looking for sexual encounters from yucaipa when you decide to go in and you could have a different log in every time.
You know what I mean.
Indeed, many men reported meeting partners in venues like mixed sexuality dance clubs, the park, or certain Internet sites e. By using this strategy of attending only those venues viewed by others as non-sexual, these men were able to present a heterosexual image that would reduce or eliminate potential suspicions.
However, despite reporting that they attended these venues for non-sexual purposes, nearly all of the men attending these venues knew there was the possibility for meeting male sexual partners in that venue as. For example, in the following excerpt a Big dick guy looking for some good fun sexy massage Spring Lake old bisexually-identified Latino respondent, talked about using the pretext of an event and listening to music as an explanation for attending a large nightclub frequented by both a straight and gay clientele: I: So why would you go to this club rather than another venue… R: For the clubs I would go to events too, you know what I mean?
And to hear music. You know what I mean?
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I: But why would you go there rather than, say another venue, another route like, like a park or the Internet, or a gym? I want to keep it that way. However, this same participant, Women Celaya wanting sex pressed further as to why he attends, said: I: And how often would you go [to this club]?
R: Probably about every other weekend. I: And how often, when you go to a bar or a club to meet men, how often do you actually meet someone?
R: Pretty much all the time. I: So why do you go to bars or nightclubs to meet men? R: I mean, I would go to meet men because I wanted sexual satisfaction.
However, men also recognized that these venues also allowed them to meet sexual partners. But the gym. The gym is strictly…I pay for that shit, you know. No I go to the gym. I work out, and sometimes, like I said, guys approach me. However, elsewhere in the interview, this same participant reported meeting multiple sexual partners at the gym: R: Um well I just ed the gym like a month ago. And I met like a couple guys. Um, in the locker room actually I met a couple of ladyboys malden. And um one came back to my house.
The other one I went back to his house. Similarly, a of men also reported that they frequented public parks for purely non-sexual reasons. Although parks clearly have non-sexual uses, existence of cruising areas within many parks including Central Park where this participant reported going attests to their use for meeting sexual partners.
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For example, one year old bisexually-identified Black respondent claimed that he was not hanging out in one of these sites Dating online services texas that purpose. Why do they stop and talk?
However, this same participant, later in the interview, reported that he had indeed engaged in sexual activity with a man he met in the park: I: And have you ever had unprotected sex while in the park?
R: We put a condom on, both had a condom, always had a condom. For example, a year-old bisexually-identified Latino participant who lived with his family told us: I: So do you take them back to your place? I live with my family. And I am not about to cause no ruckus. R: Um, Sexy lady seeking orgasm single horny moms actually go to his place.
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Those Work from home or stay at female who lived alone also viewed having male partners in their home as too risky because they might be seen by a neighbor. You know, there are neighbors and people that — that I might run into in the elevators, by the entrance.
Additionally many preferred that their partners not know Women want sex Downing they lived for fear that they might show up uninvited or at an inopportune moment on another occasion. When asked why he never took men back to his place, a year old bisexually-identified Latino expressed concern over the potential ramifications of a future, unwanted visit by a male partner: Say he, like he might come back to my house one day and pop up on a visit.
The possibility of not only being discovered, but also of being gossiped about by a roommate prevented one year old bisexually-identified White participant from bringing male partners back to his apartment.
When their partner was also married MFM in Albuquerque. had a girlfriend, other discreet alternatives had to be. In these instances, for those who could afford it, some men viewed a hotel as affording the most privacy.
Limited On-Site Sexual Activities Many of the men lived with a wife, girlfriend, family members, or roommates, with most reporting that they never brought male partners back to their apartments.
However, as noted earlier, fears of discovery prevented some from engaging in sexual activity on site. Therefore, even participants who met men in parks and gyms often reported going elsewhere to engage in sexual activity as a strategy to avoid having this sexual behavior Women looking sex Youngsville New Mexico by. I know what goes on. While a majority of participants preferred to engage in sexual activity with other men off site, some did mention having an encounter at a public venue.
There will be parking lot—you could do it.
However, participants who engaged in sexual activity on site reported that fear of discovery limited their sex-on-site behavior. Indeed, they Sexy housewives seeking nsa Naperville that on-site behavior was only possible when the conditions were right to avoid being observed. For example, a year old bisexually-identified, Black participant told us that unless it was dark out, he only had oral sex in the park because it can occur quickly minimizing the chances of being caught in the act: I: And when you go to the park to meet men, do you usually have sex there, or do you usually go somewhere else?
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